Showing posts from March, 2014
I live with the fact that I am selfish bitch.
how bad can I be to people. I am very much aware about it.
you dont have to keep remind me again and again.
ah. I shall start back all my hobbies.
the camera, the books, the decoration. and I have so much freedom right now,
but still I feel time running really fast,
I am rushing to do everything.  afraid I might regretting not doing it while I am still breathing.
its okay hidayah.
its time for you to let go everything and everyone. its time for you to enjoy.
dont give up. when you giving up, you are dying. keep trying, when you trying u may find out the reason to not giving up,
you move forward and you live your life. no matter what.
this upset feeling is more torturing. being misunderstood, neglected, accused, complicated by your own blood is much more upsetting. I have mental breakdown, im break apart.
ended woke up with tears. silent is the best escape.
what's make you sad?
misunderstood by people near youWhat's make you sad?
when spending your time alone is a crime.What's make you sad?
you not smiling, even the baby called you the straight face maniac.What's make you sad?
when you know you already bad enough, people keep saying again and again. keep telling you all over again how bad you are.What's make you sad?
being compared, no matter how hard you try to be good, its not enough.What's make you sad?
your kindness hidden under thousands of your mistakes.What's make you sad? 
they just dont understand you.what can you do?
nothing. I drained my energy. I let them be with their imagination. I am bad. always the bad and stinky shit.
I have a new friend. ezra. I hope this feeling will go away. I feel so uncomfortable.  I do the cooking today, for lunch. the chicken soup. with guidance from mama. lolwhen people around my age already cook skillfully. can wow people around. and me?hehehe. lets laugh.