i have a sunday thought. it is always about family and relationship. to build a family is like build a nation. too many things to be considered. all aspects, all elements. somehow, you always want the best for people you cared.
what am i jealous about, how people can easily be in relationship. fall in love. start a conversation. i always feel all those things are a burden, an awkward moment for me to be in that situation. i hate crowd, i hate to see people eat in nasty way, i dont really shared my stuff, i hate to be on stage and people give all the attention on me. gosh, burdensome. when i like one thing, i will always choose one thing but in a second i can changed my thoughts and choose the opposite.
well, the fact i am a bitch wont changed how i feel about people. i always love human because they are the clown in their own world. i can spend my time just sit somewhere and observing people. even when i imagine myself doing that, i feel funny. HAHA.
today, i just got news someone who actually my classmate, schoolmate and my ex's best friend will be getting married. why did i tell you about this one person?
she made me realized my own feeling that time. that was around 2010, when what we have all are at their breaking point. she came asking for a hand and he was at the position to decide which is which. that time i was betrayed, falling behind, breaking down, mind blowing and the most i felt was disappointing.
i dont blame her for having that feeling. it was gifted by God, how can you resist, isnt it? what i cant really accept is that she gambling with the friendship we have just to save herself. i already give up that time when i said i dont fight with girl when it comes to guy. it is up to him to decide. i back off.
i dont need her explanation. i knew it from her actions. i kept it because he said she is his best friend, dont ever talk bad about her. that was the most upsetting, heart breaking confession ever till i was ask…
"the best ever story is always the one that you experienced."
the truth comes from experiences either from you and other people. its not always coming from imagination. the experiences you went through always an idea of the imagination for you to go beyond the limit and outside the box, your comfort zone.