Showing posts from February, 2016
21st, Feb 2016

im back to talk with you again.
my depression is back, i keep feeling i am breaking apart.
too many things that worry me.

negative vibe is surrounding me.
i wish i could tell this to people.
to listen their opinion.

but guess,
no one really want to listen.
like whatever i tell will burdening them later.

i bottled up, suppressing whatever im feeling.
the tears i hold is choking me.

i feel weak when im crying especially in front of people.
so, i hiding my tears alone.
i put up such a poker face so people wont sense my weakness.

i keep telling myself i'll be okay.
but a part of me is telling me,
i need a company.

where the hell is this person?
how bad is my depression?

ive been imagine killing myself for so many times.
hanging myself or jump from highest place.
but isnt it a waste if i killing myself.

i cant play with my nieces,
no one will miss me,
im not yet explore the world,
i want to be in love again,
to love someone wholeheartedly.

sometimes, i feel …
feb, 2nd 2016.


after the confrontation this evening, i found myself being so guilty. half of me feel enraged over thing that i found untrue. tiny part of me feel satisfied.

mixed feeling, i am not even happy.
i pray i dont have to face this type of people again.

i had enough.