"when silence is a farewell you never utter."

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Dear zachary, I dont think you are reading this, just so you know it was nice knowing you. Ive been remembered all good words youve been said to me. While knowing you, its give me a hope that good guy do exist. In those times ive a good talk with you, i take it as the best chapter in my 2018. Truth is i have crush on you. My goodness, feels like high school girl. 😂 thus, the moment im saying goodbye, it was the hardest part. I never like saying goodbye, never good at it. Because the moment i say goodbye, i feel like my heart broke into pieces. I have to pick them up and stick them back with positivity. It is long process, but times heal.  Im fine, i was grateful for crossing path with you even we never see each other in real life. This will never come true, i know 😌. Thank you for all the kind words. Thank you for coming in very short time. I did have a blast. Knowing that its the best virtual experience.  May you have a good home, good health, good wealth and...
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my 3 a.m thought. someone said this to me, " kenapa mesti nak bersusah payah bila bercinta? " i was dumbfounded. betul, cinta itu mudah. tapi untuk sentiasa menyintai itu perlu usaha. komunikasi itu penting. even a random topic. i observed people's action, expression, words, attitude and everything. i can sense when they are not that into me, as what I've been experience before. i am speechless. when people saying that, as if they are meant i am not worth their effort. and this one question keep lingering in my head, " do i want this guy as my life partner? " the answer is no. because relationship takes two to tango, gives and takes, happy and sad, peace and fight, calm and windy, summer and winter, bright and dark, north and south. the opposites attract. to be together we need more than a casual hi or easy goodbye. relationship, in my belief is consistently doing what both of you valued together. like a small talk, a good morning wish, a random ...
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longing. im longing the you that existed as i imagine. the talk we had while looking into the deep abyss of our eyes. the sound of our laugh that still ringing in my mind. enjoying the silent in between of conversation we have. when we are apart, i still miss your warmth. the random talk we had over the drink. and i realise, you've gone and leave the traces of you in me to reminisce. it turns out, the "see you soon" we always wish, is another form of goodbye to me.
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